Contents Introduction Esoteric Hidden Treasure 1 Chapter 1 A Choice of Fate 9 Chapter 2 On the Pilgrim’ s Road 50 Chapter 3 Niguma off in the Distance 69 Chapter 4 Avalanches and Wolf Packs 83 Chapter 5 The Female Spirits of Nepal 102 Chapter 6 The Worries of a Female Spirit 116 Chapter 7 Khyungpo Naljor’ s Dream Demons 134 Chapter 8 The Pilgrimage 162 Chapter 9 Long-gone Fallen Flowers 199 Chapter 10 Going Back 219 Chapter 11 On the Road to Enlightenment 241 Chapter 12 Reasons for Love 266 Chapter 13 The Light of Sarnath 276 Chapter 14 Experience for the Soul 317 Chapter 15 Tasting Rajgir 354 Chapter 16 Sukhasiddhi’ s Test 392 Chapter 17 The Light of the Great Mudra 424 Chapter 18 Teaching the Sweet Dew of the Dakinis 458 Chapter 19 The Soul of the Search 511 Chapter 20 The Bloody Light of Kapilavastu 584 Chapter 21 The Light of the Bliss of Emptiness 625 Chapter 22 A Distant Holy Song 651 Chapter 23 A Barrel Full of Demons 672 Chapter 24 Dearly Beloved Khyung 696 Chapter 25 The Origin of the Dispute 706 Chapter 26 The Prostitutes of Vaishali 725 Chapter 27 Sharwadi’ s Longing 764 Chapter 28 Niguma’ s Mandala 770 Chapter 29 Sharwadi’ s Pain 787 Chapter 30 Niguma’ s Sweet Dew 804 Chapter 31 The End Is Also the Beginning 823 Postscript One Must Establish One’s Own Rules 841 Appendix My Father Xuemo and I 871